Note About Sportello

This is the first and hopefully only time in which the entire post is not a review, but I feel the need to write a completely new post as an epilogue (just go with it)to my Sportello review.

Sometime in May of 2010, I went to Sportello and ordered whole-wheat blueberry pancakes. It was (note: JUST was, JUST was)the greatest breakfast I've ever had in a restaurant. The review is still there, and I'm not going to change a thing to it whatsoever.

Fast forward one year and a half later. I went there to, once again, eat the blueberry pancakes. However, staring into the black writing on cut-down trees they placed in a case and called a menu in front of the restaurant, I discovered that the pancakes were (gasp! GASP! GAAAAAAAASP!)removed from the menu. While I was disappointed in that fact, I still decided to have lunch there and simply get something else.

At this point, I'm sure you're wondering, "Oh, I see no problem so far." Well, needless to say, at this point I would have to agree with you. But this is where things get worse. Much. Much. Worse.

Perhaps the main reason I went in was one dish that sparked my interest. It was a pasta dish with some sort of cheese (I'm not going through the hassle of looking it up... you'll see why in a moment... YOU'LL SEE WHY! YOU'LL ALL SEE WHY!), olives and braised rabbit. So, of course, by typing this you can probably predict that I ordered it. I did. And eventually it came. I took a bite.

Oh. My. God. When I took the first bite of that pancake that May or April day in 2010, that was my reaction. I had the same reaction with the pasta. However, things were, well, a little different between those two moments. The pancake was one of the best things I've ever eaten, probably in my top twenty-five favorite restaurant experiences. The pasta? The pasta with olives, some sort of cheese and braised rabbit? Well...

The rabbit was poorly butchered, the pasta came from a ramen noodle thing that college students eat, the olives were just meh, and the cheese, THAT GOD DARN CHEESE, overpowered every bite I ate, I couldn't taste a thing but BAD, BAD macaroni and cheese sauce. Basically, the dish was a horribly done version of macaroni and cheese for "adults" and when I mean adults, I mean some person living in East Eurasia who claims he's a quarter Italian.

It's that bad, people. It's that bad.

Will I ever go back to Sportello again? Unless they bring back the pancakes, no. Will my review remain? Yes. But I will never go back to Sportello. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever. Even if I order something else a.) I'll be sad they got rid of the pancakes and b.) I'll have memories of that awful, awful macaroni and cheese. There are no excuses. No one to blame. No way to forget. The only way I can do anything is never go back again and encourage you not to go either. There's no reason for me. There's no reason for you. What. So. Ever. That's it.

So, I think you can guess I didn't like it. I don't know. I hope I drove that point home. Whatever.