Mac's Diner

LOCATION: Schuylerville, New York
TYPE OF FOOD: Diner (that was hard to figure out, right!)
REVIEW: Small town America has undergone many changes over the years. What was once a widespread, well known thing is now as much of a myth as bipartisanship. What was once in the hands of the people is now in the hands of independent film makers and David Lynch. What was once Whole Foods is now Lehman Brothers. Pulling into the town of Schuylerville, I was looking around, while trying to ignore my stomach, growling faster than a rabid dog.

My eyes landing on the plastic just above the piece of tree cut probably from South America, I wondered why this place was called a diner. The menu was smaller than the amount of minor political parties that people give two cents about (ever heard of the New American Independent Party? 828 people have!). Still, I thought about what I could possibly get. Maybe a (breathing heavily) hamburger? Or a (hair standing by itself) cheeseburger? Or maybe even a (gasp) hot dog? After two or so minutes of not so much debating, I decided to get a grilled chicken sandwich with lettuce and tomato with a side salad (isn't it a shocker?). After a few minutes, the chicken sandwich came to me.

The chicken was grilled to perfection,, with the tomato and bread adding their poker chips to the table (I'm going all in). The lettuce was not wet and had a nice crunch to it. The salad had nice, fresh ingredients and was clearly hand made. Plus, it was absolutely delicious. Satisfied, I left, and stepped out into the small town of Schuylerville.

SERVICE: Oh my goodness cell, bone and organ structures. The service was as nice as San Francisco banning kids toys from Happy Meals (saving your life and the environment! Thanks Gavin Newsom!). They actually had a conversation beyond, "How can I help you today?" or saying "Aww" in a "caring" voice when something "sad" has happened. They actually legitimately cared, too. And who else does that these days? For extra credit, name three places. Have them written on lined paper and on my desk as soon as possible. Class dismissed.

ATMOSPHERE: The restaurant had a large bulletin board with different newspaper clippings all over it. The restaurant also had one television playing some Matt Damon movie on it (so glad it wasn't "Green Zone"! A fifteen minute chase with very little action? Come on, Paul Greengrass!). The floors were clean and so were the bathrooms, which had an unusually placed John Lennon poster. Why that is there I still can't figure out.

PRICE: The price was very, very reasonable considering the service and food. Awesome, awesome, awesome. I think I'm starting to like small towns. But not their "newspapers" with their "crosswords" and their "jokes". At least they give me a free dose of Vitamin ZZZZZ. Ha. Ha. Ha.

RATING: Mac's Diner is an absolutely terrific place with great food, atmosphere, and price. Not to mention the service is absolutely, positively, super, supremely, sawesomely friendly. For bonus points, name three more adjectives, put those right next to the places I told you to write above, in number two pencil, with a parent signature, and place those in the "In" folder above the tissues. Mac's Diner gets a five out of five.