Bartley's Burger Cottage

LOCATION: 1246 Massachusetts Avenue Cambridge, MA 02138
TYPE OF FOOD: American (because "burger cottage" is not a cuisine... well, at least until Congress passes my amendment... fourteen more years)
REVIEW: Like the term, "world-famous", "landmark" can be twisted and turned just as any other term. Apparently now, a landmark can mean anything from the Ross Ice Shelf to the Saulnier Mill to 40 Bank Street to the Citigroup Center, so obviously the term's gone through some ebb and flow, to say the least. And now with the fact that Halloween is coming up (oh, it's tomorrow... not exactly coming up), kids everywhere will be using the term in it's many forms: the red house on the corner, the place with the giant Hershey bars, and the one and only, McMansion with the flashing lights, animatronics, massive cobwebs... and that's red and gives out giant... Hershey bars. Perhaps the term is used correctly under some circumstances. Empire State Building? Yes. CN Tower? Yes. Bartley's Burger Cottage? Well... here we go.

Of course, having been to Bartley's how many times over the years (I have no idea, unless you're analyzing my digestive), I knew exactly what I wanted the second I sat down and was confronted with the famous yellow menu. What you might say? Well, it's the most famous thing on the menu. Everyone orders it. When you walk in, you can take one step in, and simply scream at the top of your lungs what it is. Ah, the classic turkey burger on whole-wheat bread with onions and a garden salad on the side, no dressing. How I've heard that cry many a time.

After some time, my salad arrived. You can't really say a whole lot about it, considering how plain it is. The ingredients were fresh, and I ate about half of it before the burger landed on the table. The burger, to say the least, is heaven in a few bites. The whole-wheat toast on it was absolutely firm, but not too crunchy, and I had to calm myself down before I ate my hands. Thank God there were two halves, as I would have thrown a hissy fit had there not been more. I absolutely loved it, and it was the closest thing something could get towards culinary perfection. So, after I paid, I did something I never dreamed of: I left. If only I stayed.

SERVICE: The service is interesting. Not in the fact that they're bad, far from it, but I think they're mostly college students, or around that age. They did seem to be experienced though, besides their age. The service does have the usualness of being patient and making sure everything is fine, with a nice tone in their voice, to top. I do know that this is in a way atmosphere, but the service often resorts to shouting their orders due to the loud grill where they cook the burgers. That isn't a problem, but considering the names of the burgers, don't get freaked out because you heard someone shouting, "One Viagra, with extra rings". Them shouting it happens. A. Lot. If. You. Don't. Get. It. From. My. One. Word. Sentences. Okay. Let's. Move. On.

ATMOSPHERE: This is the real eye-catcher, in a variety of ways. It's kind of hard to describe the atmosphere in a few sentences, but it mainly consists of quirky signs and pictures. For instance, on the far wall from the door, there is a sign that says, "The Final Exam" or something along those lines. It basically describes a variety of complicated things, like removing your own appendix, calming a crowd of people using any ancient language (except Latin or Greek... you're in luck, Kannada speakers), and writing the date in metric. There's a lot of other signs, too, but this always catches my eye when I enter the establishment. And then, of course, you can eavesdrop on some Harvard students as well. Always a pleasure, a conversation about medicine and the body in East Asia and in Europe.

PRICE: The burger was about eight dollars, and the salad four dollars and twenty-five cents? Must I say anything else? The burger delicious, the salad fresh and the price much more than reasonable. Just a little over twelve dollars for a delicious, nutritious, more than fine meal. It really is the definition of a good meal. Now, all I need to do is contact Webster's Dictionary...

RATING: Bartley's Burger Cottage is what everyone really wants: a place with fantastic food, great service, an atmosphere loaded with sights at a great affordable price. Bartley's has been serving Cambridge and Harvard for over fifty years, and it possesses both a old, nice feel as well as appealing to the young crowd. Quite honestly, you need to head to Bartley's. Now. Or. Else. I. Will. Use. The. One. Word. Sentences. Again. Wait. I'm. Already. Doing. It. Okay. Sorry. Bartley's Burger Cottage gets a five out of five.