Terrapin

LOCATION: 6426 Montgomery Street Rhinebeck, NY
TYPE OF FOOD: American (?)
REVIEW: Restaurants have to be perfectly balanced, like Obama's "bipartisan" Congress (good luck with that one, ha). If one state goes against what it should vote for to vote for "change", then the whole thing would fall apart (deja vu, huh?). And for once, I didn't know that while driving to the place. I only discovered that, after my mass passed into the legal property of the establishment referred from now on as "the place", "the restaurant", or "Terrapin" (what a surprise).

Looking at the menu, I started firing brain cells in order to think about what to get. Should I get "New York state" duck with peking sauce (ooh! I'll get Arizona state quesadillas! It costs three times the regular cost for immigrants!)? Or the "grilled" "portobello" """""""steaks"""""""? After a bundle of minutes (cellphones with projector, fullscreen, twenty hour battery, thirty megabites, scissors and key chain sold separately), I decided on the harmless, riskless, and secure option (switching to Greek banks!): the grilled salmon with potatoes and asparagus. After depending on my gluteus maximus muscle for about twenty minutes on an empty stomach, my food arrived.

The salmon was very good, and was not undercooked. The potatoes were very good, but there was a lack of them (why does this keep happening?). The asparagus was also very nice, and I enjoyed the dish overall, but I was still left hungry (oh look, there's Bernie). I ordered a salad with balsamic vinaigrette. The salad was mucho delicioso (not kidding! Actually translation!), to say in two words. So, I got up, and left the restaurant happy..... with the food, that is.

SERVICE: The service was very patient and very nice (whatever happened to those La Rotisserie or Steve's guys?). Why do I use "patient" instead of the misused "friendly" (so misused..... because a bunch of first-graders SOOOO want to have a "friendly" game of kickball..... and don't forget, everyone's a winner!)? Because it actually took a bit for me to decide.... and they were SO patient, that when I needed more time, I only needed thirty seconds, and they didn't come back for several minutes. Man, those guys are some lazy people. Yeah right.

ATMOSPHERE: Calm, collected, and cool..... literally. This place is the coldest restaurant I have ever been in. The air conditioning was over done like Blair Witch 2. If people transporting Otzi the Iceman are in Rhinebeck, and need a place to eat while keeping the mummy cold at the same time, they should eat here. I needed a jacket to stay in the place. And the bathroom did nothing for warmth either. It improved by ten degrees, but still, it was cold as Richard Nixon. At least the floors and bathroom was clean. That's something, right?

PRICE: Three people, fifty-five dollars, four entrees. My entree was twenty-four dollars-excluding the salad, which was six dollars. Sure, that's not a lot, but if your BMI is 25 or above, that might turn into the maple brined double-thick pork chop with tart cherry-port wine demi glace. Oh, and if you can say that in one breath, you get the star ranch natural beef braised short rib gratinee, slow cooked in a rich beef and onion broth over yukon gold mashed potatoes topped with caramelized onions and melted gruyere crostini. And it's all for around twenty five dollars!

RATING: Terrapin is a good tasting eatery with small portions and cold temperatures. And don't forget the """"nice"""" descriptions, like the hudson valley cattle company sirloin served with a choice of Terrapin's horseradish steak sauce or roquefort blue cheese butter, mashed potatoes or horse-cut shoestring fries! Come and get it! Terrapin gets a two out of five.