Pizzeria Regina

LOCATION: 353 Cambridge Street Allston, MA 02134 (I'm back in the seat which you place on a horse in order to ride it!)
TYPE OF FOOD: Pizzeria (Really? I thought it was Chinese)
REVIEW: Eating out often provides two meals instead of just one, which of course means leftovers (and possibly bribing the little man who turns the light on the fridge to come out and play Black Ops for thirty-three and a half hours straight). And of course, for me, it means lunch found in three minutes time during the weekend (how do the British handle eating the same thing almost every day?). Usually, I am able to down four to five slices, but I started feeling sick after a mere three (I'm one-fifteenth of the way there, Joey Chestnut, one-fifteenth...). Lying on the couch trying to stretch my stomach, I tried looking back eighteen hours to figure out what had happened.

Looking at the menu, I saw a variety of "World Famous" options. I mean, who hasn't heard of the zucchini sticks served with Ranch dressing? Or maybe the Bostonian "Wedgie" (served with a pair of boxers fresh from Fruit of the Loom!)? But really, who hasn't, in the whole wide world, heard of the "Hand Breaded Buffalo Chicken Tender Sandwich Served Open Faced" with blue cheese dressing (me neither)? Despite the options, I decided to go the slightly more famous choice, and got a mushroom pizza with a side salad.

After a small wait, the salad arrived sitting on porcelain, which in turn sat a slab of wood. The salad was delicious and was fresh, and it sent satisfactory signals to my brain. A few minutes afterward, the pizza arrived. It was delicious, with fresh ingredients and was still full of energy transfered to it from the oven onto it. After eating several slices, there was still some left, so naturally, like any good penny-pinching person living in 2011, I took the remainder out of the ovens, tables, and walls forming the place known as "Pizzeria Regina". I won't describe what happened the next day, but let's just say, incorporating what I said above, I got "the bloat boat".

SERVICE: The service there was (a shocker) serving quite well (gasp). They were energetic and attentive. The waitress for me offered some complimentary bread, which I turned down, and she accepted it as if I had said yes. If only everyone could do that. Cough, cough, Winklevosses, you already got your 120 million so just take the money and go, cough, sneeze, cough. Excuse me, I seemed to have gotten an alleged broken oral contract stuck in my epiglottis...

ATMOSPHERE: The atmosphere was loud, and filled with many people (I guess that's where the noise came from, my other theory was all of that talk about Watson... I guess he found out about H&R Block long before Jennings did...). The bathrooms were clean, with several signs advertising and telling employees to wash their hands (Big Brother is everywhere... and he wants you to attend Blue Man Group on Tuesday at 8 p.m. The floors were reasonably clean, and televisions were placed in several places playing ESPN SportScience. Did you know that the red rings of a archery target is the same as a standard tire? For the trivia buffs (what is a trivia buff, anyway?)!

PRICE: The pizza was fifteen dollars and twenty cents and the salad was four dollars, leaving the total at nineteen dollars and twenty cents (I guess fifteen plus four does equal nineteen... and that pi equals 3.2! I guess Indiana was right after all!). For a sixteen inch pizza, it's expensive, but considering it's high quality, I can be tempted to let it slide. Although I might need more in order to really let it slide. Psst, I would $10000 in cash, a lifetime supply of free pizza, and free airline tickets to anywhere I want (Lake Pontchartrain, here I come!). Leave it under the mat, in a brown envelope, labeled "Pizzaz". Tuesday, 11:20 a.m. sharp. Do it soon!

RATING: Pizzeria Regina is a great local chain, with good quality food, service, and atmosphere. While the price might be a little hard for some, everything else gives a well-rounded experience to any visitor. Psst, Pizzeria Regina. I will not make the delivery person say, "I'm gonna make him a offer he can't refuse." Although if he does it, that would be cool. With Robert DeNiro nearby. This is for you, guys! Pizzeria Regina gets a four out of five.