Celebrity Diner

LOCATION: 312 Jericho Turnpike Syosset, NY 11791
TYPE OF FOOD: American/Diner
REVIEW: If anything, ANYTHING on this planet can beat a "New York style deli" is would be a "New York style diner". If diner-crazy Martians landed in my backyard and asked me where to go for diners, I would send them to New York. Diners in New York are more frequent than the states "won" by Republicans in presidential elections (first Florida followed by Ohio, and while you may have Beacon Hill, we will win the Capitol one! And I don't mean the credit card company!). The only thing topping a New York diner is a shiny New York diner. And that's exactly what I got at Celebrity.

Sitting down in a booth near one of the windows, I looked through the many options available. When I mean many, I mean it (and that was just the breakfast menu). But what should I have? Should I have an easy option, like oatmeal (why not just order the bun at a burger place?)? Should I go for an unhealthy option, like a three egg omelette (why not just put raw plaque in your arteries?)? So after some deliberation, I ordered a breakfast special (why not?). I ordered the "Eleven" but my way: it ended up being a (get ready) Western egg white omelette with whole wheat toast and fruit salad with orange juice and iced tea (it's a whole buffet!). I got the iced tea first.

It was delicious, and it tasted sweetened when it actually wasn't. Next was the orange juice. It was freshly squeezed and (in one big, vague word) delicious. In fact, it was probably more tasty than the iced tea. For the third course came the fruit salad. That was very, very good also. And last but certainly not least (not at all) came the omelette. This thing covered the entire plate. The toast was perfectly toasted and even slightly burnt (I love burnt, no, scratch that, I will marry burnt). The eggs were burnt also (yay!!!!!!!!!!!) and that made it even better. Oh, and the omelette was absolutely great. That too. And with a perfect breakfast dissolving in my stomach acids (deal with me saying that), I walked through the door and started my day.

SERVICE: The service was not only great, but was (I think) a immigrant (eat it Arizona!). I heard several of the staff speaking Spanish (... can this place get any better?), so I can guess he wasn't the only one. The waiter was also very patient and (like 99.999% of the time-I beat hand sanitizer! Finally! You will chap the back of my hands no more!) nice. And I'll probably never have a conversation with him. In one word: darn. Oh well, no worth crying over five minutes.

ATMOSPHERE: It the cleanest diner-scratch that-restaurant I have ever been in. The exterior is shiner than every dentist's smile will ever be (I don't think I'm getting my free toothbrush now....), and the interior is shiny also. And as for the bathroom... wow. It's absolutely one of the greatest public bathrooms I will ever be in. Motion sensor technology, three full rolls of toilet paper (tres! TRES!), clean floors... what more do you want? The entire Boston Pops Orchestra? Good luck (unless you're a millionaire... unless you want to save money, enjoy, you beat me....)!

PRICE: Two people, twenty-five dollars. Two meals, two drinks, totally 100% worth it. In fact, there was so much food, I couldn't finish it (two meals? Si! Espanol es muy bueno!). Yep, I couldn't finish it. By the way, do you know where Joey Chestnut lives (Kobayashi's in Japan... the hot-dog contest was boring this year....)?

RATING: Celebrity Diner is, in one word, perfect. This place would impress any critic that is 100 times Simon Cowell person any day (thank God that show is done!). And to use a long used food critic cliche (ugh), the Celebrity Diner will make any person-and I mean any person-feel like a celebrity. Except without the paparazzi. Yay. Celebrity Diner gets a five out of five.