Pepe's

LOCATION: 238 Commerce Drive Fairfield, CT
TYPE OF FOOD: Pizzeria
REVIEW: Before I begin, let me explain that this location is not the Frank Pepe Pizzeria, it's a Frank Pepe Pizzeria. The original location is in New Haven, but alas, I could not reach it and when to the Fairfield location (please don't throw stuff at your computer screen while you read this-I'm sorry! I know it's a copout... oh look, there's BP). And here I was at Pepe's.

There was a small line out the door (pizzerias and lines.... ugh), but for once the line moved fast (as a frequent customer, this as a big of a surprise as SillyBandz becoming popular.... where the heck did they come from?). I got inside in about ten minutes and sat down. Instantly I knew what I wanted: a large mushroom pizza. I ordered it along with tap water. After twenty minutes, the pizza came out on a rectangular silver tray which shined like Scott Brown's pickup truck (so shiny... must go against tradition for no reason whatsoever and vote for him... must.... must!). I took a slice and put it on my plate.

I have to stop here. I cannot describe the feeling that overwhelmed the small pink muscle in my mouth at that moment. I can and will try to contain the feeling better than the Gulf can in one word: heavenly. I kept eating. Two slices, three slices, four, I kept going and going, finally stopping after half of the thing had received a one-way ticket into my body. Finally, after the last half was into a cardboard box, I left and didn't stop until I returned to my home-state.

SERVICE: The service were always hard at work, delivering keys to heaven to tables often. They all were very, very patient, and never dropped a pizza once (if someone did... dun dun dun....). They all were always smiling (if they were smiling, I can deduce from that that they had lots of things in their mouth.... gum, crust, toothpicks, nails..... okay I creeped myself out there... I'm gonna stop now), and of course, nice and friendly. I need to find out who's their dentists....

ATMOSPHERE: The atmosphere was covered in black-and-white photos of the founder, Frank Pepe (who was allergic to tomatoes... um..... wait, what?). It had no trash on the floor, and the booth rows (seats? Beds? You tell me!)were soft and comfortable like toilet paper (under the roll is so much better! You may have won the battle, we will win Oprah Winfrey! If she can get millions of votes for Obama, she can get millions for UNDER the roll!). You know, I'm kind of getting sick of those commercials... you hardly feel anything any way.... what's the use?

PRICE: My pizza was eighteen dollars and sixty-five cents (keep in mind this is a large, ugh, pie). That factors in that for two people, bring forty-five dollars. And I will tell you, it is worth every penny. All four thousand, five hundred of them.

RATING: Pepe's is literally the doormat to heaven. If I were on death row, I would want to have this as my last meal. Along with roasted chicken, roasted potatoes, salad, fruit salad, green tea, black tea, seltzer, whole-wheat bread, burnt toast, grilled chicken, salmon, salmon skin, turkey, egg whites, roast beef, grapes, cooked onions and garlic, burnt onions and garlic, beef stew, and burnt beef stew. I'm going to need a lot of floss. Pepe's gets a five out of five.