Monday, May 31, 2010

Sarku

LOCATION: Natick Mall Natick, MA (tough one to guess, huh?)
TYPE OF FOOD: Asian
REVIEW: The food court is one of the few places on Earth in which you have to deal with zit faced 16 year olds (who speak fluent Lady Gagan, too). It can also be the worst place food, in terms of healthiness. McDonalds? Bad. Sbarro? Bad. Burger King? Super bad (oh, I didn't realize I was referencing something there). Luckily there remains one cuisine which managed to avoid anything related to Ray Kroc, Disney, or 4Kids (a channel that dubs anime, I don't want to go into it... the memories are so painful....): Asian. And with that, I walked up to Sarku.

There's not a terrific amount of menu items. I knew what I wanted almost instantly: the chicken teriyaki. So I walked up and ordered it, and instead of the rice that came with it, I ordered vegetables (okay really, did you expect me to order something other than the chicken teriyaki?). After a couple of minutes, I received the food in a styrofoam container along with plastic cutlery and sat down at a table.

I took one bite-and guess what?-and burned my mouth. The food was send to the back of my tongue where I swallowed it. The second bite, much less cooler, send the delicious taste into my mouth. The taste of the chicken, freshly made, was delicious with the sauce (I'm guessing it's a sauce) on it. The vegetables were freshly grilled, with plenty of flavor. Since I had a small lunch (a cup of grapes and an English muffin, sorry mom!), I ordered double meat. I ate every piece of chicken and vegetable, and it must have taken me at least fifteen minutes. But finally I finished the workout, threw my trash away, walked through Sears into the parking lot, and drove off.

SERVICE: The service was very authentic. The people there looked like they had many years of experience and were kind and wise (and yet they work in a food court). They cooked the food right in front of you and were concentrated and not dosing off. Plus they did not have food or gum in their mouths, they were not staring at you like you had a giant mole on your forehead, and did not crowd in one area. Where's the Guinness Book of World Records when you need them?

ATMOSPHERE: The atmosphere was nice. The floor of behind the counter was clean, there was a sink, so I assume they wash their dishes/hands there. And if your attention span is longer than three minutes, you can stay and watch your food get cooked. The grill in which they cook it on, by the way, takes up 90% of the front area. It's not distracting or anything, and you can hear your food getting cooked across the food court. And that is real cooking (looking at you fast-food giants, because everything is just "add water", "microwave this", "nuke that", whatever happened to stoves?).

PRICE: My food was $7.50. That's with double meat. Double meat only adds $1.25, so my dish would have cost $6.25, which is still cheap. 15 to 20 minutes of food for $7.50? If that isn't enough time to spend with your family while they eat from the McDonalds two stalls away, what has more time? A board game? Good luck getting your six year old from that iTouch to play Life. Just saying!

RATING: Sarku is a small stand at the Natick Mall food court with excellent food and good service. If you can successfully avoid the other diverse places (from Indian to salads), go here. Just make sure if you get double meat not to have a impatient person around. Four words: kicked out for life. Bad, bad times. Sarku gets a five out of five.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Currier Museum of Art Cafe

LOCATION: 150 Ash Street Manchester, NH 03104
TYPE OF FOOD: American/Italian (casual)
REVIEW: Museum cafes can be many different things, depending on the museum. For instance, science museums tend to be basic, simple food (usually pizza, burgers and salad because they tend to be more popular), and usually taste pretty good. History museums tend to lean toward sandwiches and salads, and can range in taste. And any other museum (news, biography, etc.) doesn't have a cafe, and if it does, is either terrible or really, really good. Art museums? Well, you'll see.

The menu at the cafe was left absolutely no choice in terms of healthiness. In fact, it left only one choice-a vegetable "panini" (whenever there are quotation marks, and the word panini is in between..... darn). So no fights. No tugging. No psychological warfare. No pranks. Just some vegetables thrown into a multi-grain bun thrown into a grill. And I thought this as I sat down, and waited five to ten minutes to receive my panini with pasta salad and a dill pickle.

My least favorite vegetable is zucchini. I hate it more than I hate Dana Carvey in "Master of Disguise" (ugh, don't remind me....). And guess what? It was in the panini. So I hated the panini. There was no flavor, no zing, absolutely nothing. The pasta salad also had zucchini, which (you guessed it) ruined it for me more than my curiosity ruining every single show I like (I look it up on Wikipedia, ruins whole episodes!). So I got up and left. No getting out of my seat, putting my tray away, that lame stuff. I left. Period.

SERVICE: As you would expect from every one of my eleven previous reviews, the service was behaved and open (is that better than nice and friendly? I abused that phrase way too much!). You didn't interact with them, as they stayed behind the counter for 95% of the time. However, they do bring your food to you, and are attentive. However, on a different order, one person ordered pasta salad and got cole slaw, and another person ordered cole slaw and got pasta salad. Muy, muy epic fail (Spanish works the other way around sometimes).

ATMOSPHERE: The place was a large, tall room which originally was an entrance. I mean, this place was huge. Larger than every sumo wrestler in all of Asia (I don't want to try, though). I saw that one table had two large crumbs on it, where I believe someone ate a scone. Otherwise the floor and tables were clean, but nothing stood out in the entire place. There were two paintings near the entrance which had different people dressed in clothes reflecting different cultures. But otherwise the atmosphere struck out. Zero for three.

PRICE: Thirty dollars for three people. Wow. So that's eight dollars for a horrible panini, awful pasta salad, and a room that should be used for anything but a cafe. Well, I mean it's three items, so I suppose that's a deal. Fine. I'll give that to them. When Oliver Stone is proven right (three shots, one book depository, one gun, end of story).

RATING: When I handed in my tray, a staff member noticed how many vegetables were on my plate. I usually eat every single vegetable on my plate. But the horrible pesto and terrible zucchini on the grilled sandwich (it's not a panini!) ruined it. And I had a horrible time, biting and chewing every bite I could, making sure my taste buds missed the horror. So yeah. I had a bad time. The Currier Museum of Art Cafe gets a one out of five.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Tango Mango

LOCATION: 1191 Centre Street Newton Centre, MA
TYPE OF FOOD: Mexican (casual)
REVIEW: One of the minor parts of an experience eating out is the drive. Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad. This drive was kind of depressing. And it was long (thanks Iron Man 2!). I mean, how can a church with a sign saying, "Pastor Needed", not be depressing? How about a Domino's, eight feet wide, and placed behind a gas station? Or about the larger depressing fact that I passed by at least 15 places to eat on the way to this place? Yeah, I saw all of these and more as I reached Newton Center (which has at least five more places to eat).

Being a repeat customer, I knew exactly what I wanted. In Tango Mango, you walk up to the long counter and go through a process. First you say what you want (burritos, tacos, etc.), the size you want (for burritos, 10" and 12"), and the type of burrito (white or whole-wheat, whole-wheat is a large size). Next, you say what you want on your burrito. Meat or veggies? Lettuce? Guacamole? Salsa? Beans? Sour cream? Cheese (you say that when you order your burrito)? Jalapenos? Plenty of choice, huh (that last statement was not a choice)? My final order was this: burrito on whole-wheat tortilla, chicken, both types of beans (pinto or black, what did you think there was?), lettuce, extra lettuce. The final stop on the Burrito Railroad was the counter, where I paid, walked fourteen feet to a table, and bit in.

The burrito was absolutely amazing. Period. There wasn't a single, UN SOLO, thing wrong with it (I think when you type in Spanish it's a good thing). The burrito was liked what I think a movie with Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks will be like: two really good actors under one roof. In this case the actors were the chicken and the beans. And the tortilla. And the lettuce. And the extra lettuce. Finally (and sadly), I got up, put the plastic tray it came in in the tray pile, took a takeout menu, and left.

SERVICE: The service was beyond just nice and friendly. The people making the burrito didn't really talk, which is fine (they were authentic, very authentic). The person behind the counter was one of the most friendly people I have ever met. She appears to be American, but I don't care about that. She was always smiling, never appeared to be bored, and was conversational. Case in point, she was just plain awesome. There we have it.

ATMOSPHERE: The floor was not covered in trash. In fact it was clean, except under the radiator in the room. There were two plastic forks and a bit of dust, but really no one looks under a radiator (if someone in your party does that...um....). There was also a large bulletin board where people can post things up, from plays to free guitar lessons. There was also little pieces of art here and there, which added to the whole place. Man, I have a vocab!

PRICE: Two people can be fed with fifteen dollars, including drinks. Really, it depends on what you get, entrees range from $3.25 to $8.00. Cheese, sour cream, rice, beans, and jalapenos all cost 35 cents extra. Guacamole is 75 cents. Luckily, here the burritos are very filling, so you will not go back for more. Unless you really like it. Then dive in. It's five dollars.

RATING: Tango Mango is plain, in one word, perfect. It is the best burrito I have ever had. So go. Go. It's worth it. Tango Mango consigue unos cinco de cinco (man, I love good old Espanol!).

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Le Petit Robert

LOCATION: Kenmore Square Boston, MA
TYPE OF FOOD: French (I'm bringing out the big guns)
REVIEW: With the amount of different cuisines in the world today, there have to be some rating requirements in order to go. Chinese requires at least a three or four star rating, depending on the fanciness. Italian is more on the four side, usually due to the fact that it is more fancier than most other cuisines. As for French? Four or five. That's exactly what I was thinking on my drive to there (I was also trying to scrape the little French I know to the front of my head: "Allons-y", "Bon appetit!", um, and that song that's like, "Sa bla boom wha!").

I sat down, and debated with myself whether or not to order escargot, or snails ("Go for it." "NO, DON'T go for it!" "Why?" "I DON'T NEED A REASON WHY!" "Snotty brat..."). Eventually I decided not to. Why? I played a game with myself, and decided if the next person that came in was a male, I would order it. However a female came in, so I didn't order snails. My final order was the half roasted chicken they had. Before I got it, they gave me some bread. The bread was very, VERY warm, and slightly burned my mouth. But it was good (but which one wins: burned mouth, or taste buds?)luckily, so it wasn't too bad. After thirty to forty minutes, I was starving, and got my food.

The chicken tasted more like grilled chicken, and I couldn't cut it so I ate with my hands(cavemen, here I come! Er, not those Geico ones, those guys are creepy, even if they got their own show). The chicken still tasted pretty darn good, but it was quite salty. The vegetables that came with it contributed to the meal, and did a good job, but fell under the Side Vegetable Curse, and were just fine. When I finished I was full enough not to have any more entrees, but not full enough to stop eating, so I ordered a fruit salad. The fruit salad came with a variety of different fruits (there could have been cheese in there, I don't even know), and was very sweet. There was juice in the bottom, and I tasted it, which was just orange juice. After two hours, I got up, left the place, and walked onto to Kenmore Square, in front of the Citgo sign (long pause) (oh sorry, I was looking up those Geico cavemen).

SERVICE: The service (for the zillionth time) was nice and friendly (am I abusing those words?), and for one moment they were laughing. However their facial expression s read as, "Yay-I'm working as a waiter when I could be hanging out with my friend. I am SO thrilled." You don't really interact with them, but you don't spend some time with them (2%). Luckily I saw nothing in their mouths, and they were crowding in one corner. In fact, they looked almost TOO busy...

ATMOSPHERE: The floor was lightly covered in trash, and so was the tablecloth. There were candles on the table, and sometime into my experience, the staff dimmed the light. However the main thing was the heating lamps put in the front of the place. Guess why the bread was so hot? It had been sitting there, possibly for hours, under two heating lamps. In fact, one of them was broken, and the chef had to hit it in order for the thing to work! Ah, 250 degree bread sitting for a couple of hours. Now at your local French place!

PRICE: Three people can be fed with one-hundred dollars. Apparently this is cheap for a French restaurant (I don't go to a lot, clearly). On my scale, this is expensive, but I'm a casual eatery guy. So I can't say anything. I'll just shut up now.

RATING: Le Petit Robert is a French place sitting in good old Kenmore Square. The chicken is pretty good, and so is the fruit salad. But with "fresh" bread, uninspired staff, and dirty tablecloths, this place misses the mark. Le Petit Robert gets a four out of five.