Tanjore

LOCATION: 992 Main Street Fishkill, NY
TYPE OF FOOD: Indian
REVIEW: Believe it or not (looking at you, New England Skeptical Society), I have never been to an Indian restaurant before in my life and I don't know much about Indian culture for that matter. Besides "Benny Lava", "Indian Thriller" and "Tunak Tunak Tun" (move over, DANCING BABY!), I know pretty much nothing of the subject (I guess a knowledge of modern and American history doesn't help..... I feel like that historian from the "Got Milk?" ad...... why Aaron, why?). I was thinking this (and singing "Benny Lava" along the way..... "You need a bun to bite Benny Lava!") as I arrived.

Sitting down, I tried to decide as fast as the Warren Commission on my order. Should I consume "chicken Vindaloo" (can someone tell me what "Goan sauce" is?)? Maybe "Madras Attu Kari" (it's what it says on the tin!)? Or how about "Saffrani Murgh Malai Kabob" (who likes sour cream? On chicken? In a tandoor?)? After a bit of thinking (oh well, at least I beat the U.S.H.S.C.O.A), I decided upon the "chicken Tikka" with "tandoori Roti" (whole wheat bread at an Indian place? It's just like Roger Clemens and perjury charges! Bound to happen!). I also ordered iced tea, but it was not what I thought it would be (dun dun dun). After a little bit more, the food's mass transfered from the air onto the table in which the bends of my arms were resting.

The chicken tasted delicious for the few bites, until I tasted "it". "It" was horrible infecting my mouth faster than Obama's lessening popularity. "It" destroyed every bite with more intensity than the number of eggs getting recalled. "It" strangely doesn't have a Wikipedia page. "It" was cilantro, sprinkled all over the chicken. I tried, to the best of my ability, to remove it, and the chicken still tasted good, but with little bits here and there, the damage was done. The bread had no cilantro (why would it?), so the bread was very, very good. And as for the tea, which I thought would be plain black, it turned out that the people put spices into it. Even then, the tea was very good, and in fact, could have used a little more. After completing my meal, I left the restaurant..... as a thunderstorm moved across the area and poured on me.

SERVICE: The service was the most authentic I have ever seen in my life. They seemed to be from India, or the surrounding area (but hey, Bill Binnie "seemed" to be from America, but he was born in Scotland! And yet he's saying every immigrant HAS to learn English!). They were, as usual, nice and friendly (where's a thesaurus when you need one?). However, at least one person seemed to be always be standing near the bar that was in the back (ugh..... alcohol). This person did seem to be a supervisor... but who knows (conspiracy theories galore!!!)?

ATMOSPHERE: Like with the service, the atmosphere was authentic as if it was in India itself (anyone know Hindi? Because I don't think Pig Latin will help in India....). There was a Hindu-like picture hanging on one of the walls, and there was a buffet cart in one of the corners (at lunch they have buffets, which is apparently quite good... but I was once told that one place had good food and it was average.... oh well). There was music playing but it was quiet (and unintelligible.... I just couldn't get it through my skull... hey, what are these marbles doing here?). And to put the weirdly unhealthy cherry on top of this authentic sundae, the floors were nicely kept and clean. Yay.

PRICE: For three people, have fifty-five dollars on hand. Yes, this might seem a little pricey, but three entrees, two breads, and one drink (with zero desserts) all pretty much have to lead to something (like the "numerous" clues pointing to someone on the grassy knoll! "Admit" it, CIA!): a stomach full of Karaikudi Yera Thokku. Yummy yummy!

RATING: Tanjore is an authentic Indian place with good food and terrific atmosphere. However with cilantro all over the food, this place isn't 100% perfect. However, I can fully say, that Tanjore in Fishkill, New York, definitely knows "the hole to put it". Thank you YouTube. Tanjore gets a four out of five.