Dinosaur Barbeque

LOCATION: 99 Court Street Rochester, NY
TYPE OF FOOD: Barbecue
REVIEW: Food places appear where you might not expect them to be in. Like a Republican in Massachusetts (Scott Brown. Charles Baker. Karyn Polito. We now have more crazies than PETA), you would not expect them in the country. For instance, one would not expect a kosher deli in Jamaica, but there probably is one. One would not expect a Chinese place in Dubai, but there probably is one. A barbecue place in upstate New York? Son, I think I need to take you to the doctor. And yet there it was. In the seemingly deserted city of Rochester (I guess this city goes to sleep at four...)

Walking up to the lady, I gave her my name, and she told me a half hour wait. Now, I'm already starving (for tax cuts! 'Cause we need no taxes! No taxes! But it's causing the school to fall apart..... but who cares when you have money?), so waiting half an hour is like a death sentence (is that banned in New York?). So I wait.... and wait... and wait. Groups before me go.... and then groups after go (what!? We were here before you! You can't just tread all over us! Oh. You have guns. All right, onto the Trail of Tears...). Finally after forty minutes I get seated. Once I sit down, I order the ribs, with no sauce, with a tomato-cucumber salad and a fruit salad. Twenty minutes later, the food came.

The ribs were, like Chester Arthur's administration, above average. Yep. Just above average. The tomato-cucumber salad had some sort of dressing, which I could guess was vinegar based (so wouldn't it make it a vinaigrette? Is there a definition... for anything on Wikipedia? This list depends on the definition of this word... this word depends on this list... this one's a stub.... these are weasel words... was is a weasel word?). And the fruit salad was fresh. But since they serve it all on the same plate, the three mixed a little. Vinegar and grapes? More gross than the woman who re-grew her finger (she still has it). And so, meal complete, I got up and left. And there was still no one on the street.

SERVICE: The service was nice and busy. There were quite a few of them, but when I was taken outside (this is where I sat down and ate), there was only one person. The service was also fast (Obama's bills can't do that). When I said I wanted no sauce on my ribs, after they were brought to me with sauce, the server said it was no problem and in two minutes, it came back with no sauce. If only everything was that easy (and now, you can get this amazing product, for twenty easy payments of twenty-five dollars! Plus shipping and handling!).

ATMOSPHERE: The atmosphere was.. well... um... louder than Kanye West. The music was blaring more than the number of teen mom and Octomom-like programs on A&E. And there was no relief outside. Apparently, there is some sort of Hell's Angels convention going on, because every motorcyclist in a twenty mile radius was at the place. Engines roaring... people talking and shouting... all in front of a darn restaurant. Where's noise complaints and lawyers when you need one? And I'm saying that in America!

PRICE: My meal was fifteen dollars. So if you come alone, bring twenty-five dollars. Well, six ribs and two sides is quite a bit of food when you think about it. But twenty-five dollars is a bit of money when you think about it. When you think about it? Not in this day and age.

RATING: Dinosaur Barbeque is a place with Ulysses S. Grant food and Theodore Roosevelt service. But with James Buchanan atmosphere, and John Tyler price, the restaurant just turns out to be a giant Millard Fillmore. When your entire cabinet resigns, you know you're going down. Dinosaur Barbeque gets a three out of five.